


While My Guitar Gently Weeps

by genderqueer_turtle



Series: Music to the Heart AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, based off of a beatles song, bittersweet memories, divorce mention, music to the heart au, parents fighting, parents walking out, tw fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28138602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderqueer_turtle/pseuds/genderqueer_turtle
Summary: Janus' father has always been important to him. He shaped his love for music. But if Janus was being honest, there was one song in particular that defined it all.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, deceit | Janus Sanders & original male character, moceit sorta
Series: Music to the Heart AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061411
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	While My Guitar Gently Weeps

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the Beatles song "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"  
> Everything that happens in this happens before the beginning of Music to the Heart

It was Janus’ first memory, the guitar strummed softly, his dad humming. It was his dad’s favorite song, which made it Janus’ favorite song. Janus wanted to be just like his dad, he was a musician and taught music theory at some local college. When Janus grew up, he was going to teach music theory, he was going to be exactly like his dad.

“ I look at you all, see the love there that's sleeping, while my guitar gently weeps. I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping, still my guitar gently weeps.” His dad had such a wonderful voice. Janus sat in complete awe, watching his dad’s fingers pluck at the strings of the guitar.

“I want to play!” Janus said when his dad finished the song. Janus’ dad laughed. 

“You can barely hold a guitar kiddo!” Janus huffed and crossed his arms in the way that only a small child would.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t play! I want to play our song and sing it for baby Virgil!” 

“How about I play it for Virgil and you sing along? And when you’re big enough, I’ll teach you how to play?” His dad compromised. Janus grinned.

“That’s my squirt!” Janus’ dad ran his hand playfully through his son’s hair, causing the young boy to giggle.

* * *

They always argued, it was so loud. Janus would sit in his room and pretend not to hear. Sometimes he’d sit in Virgil’s room, making sure that Virgil didn’t get upset from all the shouting. 

“It’s okay Virgil, Mommy and Daddy are just having a fight, that’s normal.” 

Virgil pouted, he was still so small. He looked on the verge of tears. 

“I tell you what, how about I sing you a song? It’s me and Daddy’s special song, but I can share it with you. Daddy says it’s by the Beatles! You like bugs!” 

Janus started singing, holding his tiny brother in his arms. Even though Virgil was only two years younger, he was incredibly small. Janus wanted to protect his small brother.

Janus wasn’t a great singer, his voice was still shrill because he was so young. But the song seemed to calm down Virgil, so he kept singing.

The shouting stopped soon enough, and Janus heard the front door slam. The door to Virgil’s room opened and Janus’ dad walked into the room.

“Hey squirt, thanks for taking care of your brother. You’re singing to him?” 

Janus grinned. “Yup! It calms him down! I thought I’d share our song with him, since he’s my brother!” 

Janus’ father laughed gently. “Yes, he is your brother. And one day, he’ll sing with you. The song will be for all three of us.” 

“What’s the song even about Dad?” 

“It’s about love.” 

“Like how you love me and Virgil, or how you love Mommy?” 

Janus’ father grimaced, but it was quickly covered with another smile. “No, it’s about universal love. How the world has so much potential to love each other and care for each other. The song is about the idea that love can save the world.” 

“The world needs to be saved, doesn’t it?” Janus asked. 

“Yes, it does.” 

Janus paused, listening to his dad humming the song. 

“Mommy doesn’t love us, does she? She doesn’t have the universal love.” 

“Hey don’t say that! Your mommy loves you very much. But no, I don’t think she has the universal love.”

“Do you have the universal love Daddy?” 

“I hope so.” 

“Does Virgil have the universal love?” 

“Of course he does! You can see it in his eyes!” Virgil grinned and mumbled something in toddler gibberish.

“What about me? Do I have the universal love?” 

“More than anyone I’ve ever met. You’re filled with the universal love Jan.” Janus grinned, he liked having the universal love.

* * *

Janus remembered the night his dad left. He had snuck into Janus’ room to say goodbye.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Away. Your mother doesn’t want me around anymore.”

“But I want you around! And so does Virgil!” 

“I know squirt. But I can’t take you, your mother would be very sad and angry if I did.” 

“But who would teach me to play our song?” 

Janus’ father sat down on his bed, next to his distraught son. “I’m leaving my old guitar, it’s for you. I know you’ll be an even better musician than I am, than I could ever be. You’ll know all the Beatles songs.” 

“I don’t want to know all the Beatles songs, I want you to teach me our Beatles song.” 

“You can do it, without me. You don’t need me. Look at you, you’re practically a man already.” 

“I’m only a kid.” 

“But you’ll need to be a man, the man of the house in fact. To take care of Virgil. Promise me you’ll do that.” 

“I promise.” 

Janus’ father reached forward and brushed his son’s bangs out of his face. “I’m going to miss you very much.” 

“I’ll miss you too Dad.”

* * *

Janus was a senior now, it had been years since he had last seen his father. There were days when he missed him, but he’d remind himself that his dad had chosen to leave, and to leave him behind.

Janus played guitar now, and he was really good at it. He still had his dad’s acoustic guitar, it was the main one he played on when not with the band. Sometimes, he would carry it around if he thought a chance to play it would come up.

Today, Janus was at the park with his best friend, Remus. The guitar was sitting in its case, right next to him. 

“Hey Janus!” A bright and perky voice said, startling his slightly. Janus looked up from where he was sitting on the grass to see his classmate, Patton. Janus stumbled over his words.

“Hey Patton. What are you doing here?”

“I was out for a walk. I live nearby.” 

“That’s cool.” 

Patton pointed to the guitar case. “Is that yours? Do you play?” 

Janus blushed. He may have had a small crush on Patton. Remus just watched and grinned like the sly motherfucker he was. 

“Uh, yeah, I play.” 

“Oh that’s so cool! Would it be too much to ask for you to play something?” 

“No, of course not!” Janus practically fell over himself trying to pull out the guitar. Patton sat down next to him, waiting. 

“What do you want me to play?” 

Patton thought for a moment, humming an unrecognizable tune. “I don’t know. How about a song that means a lot to you.” 

“That means a lot to me?” 

“Yeah! One that has emotional value! Unless you don’t want to of course! You’re the musician, you decide what to play!”

“No, that’s great. I know just the song.” 

Janus took a quick moment to tune the guitar before beginning to play. 

“I look at you all, see the love that is sleeping. While my guitar gently weeps…” 

Janus could practically hear his father singing along, but it was all in his head. When he finished playing, Patton clapped so loudly that it snapped Janus back into reality.

“You’re so good!”

“Um, thank you!”

“I didn’t know you liked the Beatles.”

Janus grimaced. “Oh, I don’t.” 

Patton looked confused, turning his gaze from Janus, to the guitar, and even to Remus, searching for an answer. Remus just grinned knowingly.

“Someone else I know likes the Beatles, I just know the song.” 

“And this someone is special to you?” Patton pressed.

“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” 

“May I ask who it is?”

“You’re asking right now,” Remus pointed out.

“Right, right, sorry.” 

“No, you’re fine,” Janus insisted. “He’s my dad, it was our song.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody!  
> So I've had this idea to add a few one shots to the Music universe for a while now. I have all these tiny little bits about the characters that just wouldn't fit into the main story and I can't justify slipping them into it just for funsies. So there will probably be more one shots for Music some time in the future.  
> How this story came about was kinda interesting, ngl. I was updating the boy's playlists (yes, they're updated now, yay!!!) and this song was recommended for Janus' playlist. I thought "oh I haven't heard this song in a while" and listened to it for fun, and then something compelled me to put it on Janus' playlist. So I did. I had no idea why I was putting it on the playlist, it didn't really fit his vibes, and then it hit me. It was his dad's song. And then my mind worked in overtime and this plot was created.  
> In my mind, Janus doesn't hate his dad for walking out on them. He's a bit bitter ofc, but not TOO bitter if you get what I mean. Janus' dad was a huge part of why he picked up music. I hope I captured that well. And there's a high chance that Janus' dad will reappear in later stories, but I won't say too much because spoilers. Just remember him, okay?
> 
> If you managed to read all that and not hate me, thank you so much!  
> Much love and gratitude,  
> Turtle


End file.
